The Big Kahuna - The Shamer, The Bully, The Guilter

I just lost a dear friend. He took his own life.

He was shamed by someone he thought was a "Big Kahuna." That is, a "Sacred Holy Woman," a "Guru" in a Medicine Circle.

Yes, a Medicine Circle!

Arrgggh!!

This young man was brilliant and this "Warrior Woman" wasn't a shaman. She was a "Shame"-man, a "Guilter"... and no, she wasn't even Catholic!

She was just seriously messed up.

And he took her words to heart.

Why did he do this? Why do so many many young and old on the path to enlightenment do this? Why do they follow the false Kahuna, the messed-up "Medicine Man?"

(Oh, and "messed up" is not gender- or race-specific).

Why?

Why are Pressure, Shame, and Guilt so effective at ensnaring us?

Because we are all are messed up too. Shame creates followers, and with a touch of guilt it leads to a great recipe to get you to give them MONEY!!! Add a huge dash of abuse and the Big Kahuna now has a revenue stream till the end of their days.

Be careful! Stop looking for and following the Archetype of a spiritual person.

In that moment you think to yourself..."Man, I feel awful"...listen to that voice. Leave! If someone touches you inappropriately... report them! When someone tries to convince you that sex will lead you to enlightenment...

Well, you get the picture.

Once I had a "Medicine Woman" say to me,

"My guides say that we will have sex."

She was dressed in white from head to toe--no, I'm not making this up.

I looked at her and replied,

"Have they talked to MY guides?"

She was puzzled and answered,

"No... why?"

"Well" I said flatly, "MY guides say that isn't going to happen."

She was stunned and taken aback. She'd obviously used this line before, and the scary thing is that she actually believed it.

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After I lost my friend, I knew I wanted to write about the False Big Kahuna. To warn people, young and old, not to follow or listen to these messed up, deluded Shame-mans.

But then I thought, "Will they listen?"

Well, will you?

I've got to say something. I have experienced this cycle and seen it repeat too many times.

I am writing this, heartbroken at the loss of a young man that was so vital, so amazing, so insanely talented...

It was a shame to see him go.

It was shame that saw him go.

He'd done 27 Ayahuasca journeys. Some, up here in the Great White North. Others, down in South America. He had a huge mind-altering paradigm shift, and from what he shared with me, it was an incredibly spectacular otherworld experience which left him awed, confused--and afraid.

And when he went for help, advice, and insight? He was let down, scorned, bullied, and finally, shamed. To the point where I heard the Messed-Up Big Kahuna Female ask him if he was a man or a mouse. Really. How classic can your shaming get?

I prayed. I stood up and challenged it. I talked to him later and said, "Don't take on the path of shame you've been given... it's bullshit!!"

But, broken and dismayed, it appears he took it to his grave.

Now, I know you might be saying to yourself: "It's different with my Guru. He/she is a good person and would never do that!"

Maybe you're right, and there are some out there who seek power but don't fit the shame bill. I'm hoping there is. It's so rare though. Ask yourself: "if they hold true wisdom, why do they need followers to validate them?"

It's no different when a Big Kahuna or Shame-man guides you through taking Peyote, or LSD, or DMT, or  mushrooms, or any other mind-altering journey medicine. If you come out of the experience and it was powerful and they feel threatened (and they almost always do), they will belittle, bully, and shame you, or "take you under their wing" and then try to take your power away.

Or they will send you packing because they themselves have never experienced the experience you had. So to them, YOU are showboating and trying to be the Big Kahuna.

The end result? You become the laughingstock and the other followers will laugh.

Why? Because the other followers are all afraid of being excommunicated, of being shunned and shamed by the "family." The cycle continues, one of fear, preying on the dysfunctional and the hopeful.

The Shame-mans are usually very well read, highly intelligent, broken people. They are first-class manipulators with little or no real-time experience in the otherworld--but oh, how they can tell a good story and say all the right words, in a perfectly appealing way.

The Shame-man is truly a thing to behold. Sometimes they are so deluded they don't even know they're Shaming/Shamming.

Don't get me wrong. It's not the journey medicine that is the problem: the medicine is neutral and can indeed provide the experience you're after. We are where the vulnerability lies. The danger is in those spreading false wisdom around, all the broken people north and south, aboriginal and westernized alike.

So what to do? How do you avoid being sucked in?

Well first, be patient. Tap into a really great supportive community. Check out people's experiences: the what, where, when, why, who, and how.

Ask questions!

Listen, Listen, Listen.

Ask more questions.

You are entrusting your LIFE, your journey, to whom?

Please, I beg of you, take your life and treasure it.

Dare to Beware! Even then, taking care won't necessarily guarantee your safety. Be cautious at raves or parties or anyplace with unknown, potentially messed up, humans--especially those who have all the cool drums and are wearing all the right clothes to show they're Ultra Spiritual.

Be cautious of those who seek power. Maybe they have a following, or tons of wealth, or keep spouting presumed knowledge, or perhaps they're incredibly beautiful-tall-thin-muscular-handsome and keep telling you are an Indigo Child, or Crystal child, or one of the Chosen Ones.

Go out with a friend, and have a plan. Be brutally honest with each other about what you perceive is really going on.

Watch out for red flags.

Have at least one signal and/or code-word to get away from a person you feel uncomfortable with without alerting them. Have an exit strategy prepared for if things get messy or weird.

Don't have incredible-sexy-sex-intimacy with anyone in the spirituality workshop until at least one month after you've left the workshop. Be very mindful about how much money you're giving to one person, and find out what it's for. Sharing equally amongst a group is cool, but giving thousands of dollars to one person? Maybe (for example) to help get a book published that you've never seen and might never see?

Watch out for those red flags.

And most of all... Please, please, please!!! ...if a Big Kahuna is SHAMING, BULLING, OR GUILTING YOU...

...leave.

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This article is in honor of my amazing young friend who took his life....tears roll down my face as I write this.(c)